Do You Appreciate My Tears?

I try so hard to hold myself together. I desperately attempt to be strong. Seeking for answers, I always seem to do wrong.

The thing about pain is that it is inevitable. We cannot live our lives without pain. To go through life trying to escape pain, is to go through life without living at all. Pain is not the issue. The issue is how we let pain affect us. Some of us let our pain wear and tear on our mental and physical state of well-being. It drains us to the point where we feel we have nothing left to give. We go through life numb. We don’t allow our hearts to feel anything, because to open our heart would present an opportunity for pain to enter. By closing our hearts, we have closed the door to growth, insight and wisdom. Pain is not simply meant to hurt us. Pain is meant to teach us a lesson: to give us experience and knowledge in a memorable sense. We can associate our pain with memories, growth and insight.

I try so hard to feel something. I desperately attempt to open my heart. It isn’t easy. By closing my heart, I blocked my own joy, peace, and sense of fulfillment.  My closed heart didn’t just keep others out, but it kept me locked in. My spirit was not able to be at peace, because I was holding back the very essence of who I am: My love and care for others.

What is pain except the absence of comfort? Growth does not come until we exit our comfort zone and embark on the journey of the unknown.

I don’t shed many tears out in the open. I prefer to cry in the solitude of my own bedroom. So when you see my tears, don’t wonder why I cry. Don’t try to figure out who did me wrong and why. Don’t pretend to understand. My tears represent more than the pain that I have experienced. They represent my past, present and future. They represent the person that I was, am, and have yet to become. When you see my tears don’t be frightened or surprised. Just appreciate them because I’m giving you confirmation of my growth. 

.:JRSN:.

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