I'm Single and Thirsty

I'm Single

July 2nd. It's been EXACTLY 5 months since my relationship ended. The breakup that I thought was going to break me. For days and weeks after, I did not know how I was going to get through it. I could not believe I was single. I did not want to be single. I couldn't understand why God had allowed my relationship to fall apart. I cried and prayed and prayed and cried. Day by day, God worked on my heart. Now it's been 5 months, and I don't feel the same hurt and pain that I felt before. I never would have made it without God. I was holding on to that relationship and I was unable to heal. Once I realized "I'm single", I was able to move forward.

I'm Thirsty

July 2nd. It's been EXACTLY 1 month since I moved to San Antonio, Texas from Athens, Georgia. Since I've been in San Antonio, I realized that I'm now one of those single, thirsty women.  I know you're probably thinking "whaaaat? She actually admits to being thirsty?" Yes! I am thirsty.  According to Urban Dictionary 😊 thirsty means 1) too eager to get something or 2) desperate. Much like other singles, I am eager for love and affection. Or to be honest, I'm desperate for love and affection. I thought I was desperate for love from a man. I began to look in look in all the wrong places. However, I knew I was not in the right mental or emotional state to receive that love. I was tired of looking for fulfillment in one place and being disappointed.Then I was reminded of John 4:13-14 , Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life."

What This Means

 I was drinking the WRONG water! I realized that what I needed, no man could give it to me. No relationship could fill the void except a relationship with God. Yes, I'm a saved Christian. Baptized in Jesus' name and filled with the Holy Ghost. But I was thirsty for a deeper relationship with Christ. Since I've been in San Antonio, God has really been moving in my life. He has been speaking to me like never before. He has been giving me inspiration and so many great ideas. I am thankful to be feeling his presence so strongly. If you're feeling stressed, disappointed, angry, sad, you've probably been drinking the wrong water. I urge you to turn to Jesus and receive the living water.  His spirit will cause you to never be thirsty again and grant you eternal life.  I can proudly say, "I'm single and thirsty... for God's presence."

I pray that God blesses each of you who took the time to read this.

-Memoirs of Jazz

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Mental Health Awareness

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Mental Health is a topic that is often neglected and downplayed. This post will focus on Depression. 

Depression is a very REAL disease. It is more than just sadness or being dissatisfied with your life. Depression feels like you are suffocated by hopelessness. You feel like you aren't good enough, smart enough, rich enough, attractive enough AND you feel there is no way to change those things. When you're depressed you have to drag yourself out of bed and talk yourself into doing everyday things. You feel like you're on autopilot and emotionally disconnected from the world. 

I have struggled with depression for a few years. I spoke briefly about it in my post "Why I Gave It All Away". (click here for the link). It is something that I have kept concealed because I feel that depression is so stigmatized. Many people do not understand unless they've experienced it. I don't want to be viewed differently or be pitied. So I have to overcompensate. I try to constantly smile, laugh and tell my corny jokes. 

Some days I am fine and can smile and function normally. However, on the worst days, I get a brain fog. I cannot think clearly. I cannot focus on anything.  I am anxious about anything and everything. All I want to do is sleep. I've slept 15 hours a day during my darkest day of depression. 

However, I am learning ways to deal with my depression without using medication. I use prayer, mediation, writing and exercise to relieve my stress, anxiety and feel better. If you are struggling with depression, I encourage you to find and outlet for your feelings.

Prayer is great. God promises to keep us in perfect peace if we keep our mind on Him (Isaiah 26:3). Meditation is also good. Mindfulness is the meditation practice that I enjoy most. Mindfulness focuses on the present and accepting thoughts without judgment. Writing is something that I enjoy. Poems, songs, blog posts, anything to get my feelings out. Exercise works wonders in reducing levels of stress and making me feel better. I workout 3-5 times a week for at least an hour. 

If you know someone who is depressed or you suspect they are, don't judge them. Try to be encouraging. Direct them to this blog post. Give them the space that they need. Help them feel loved and safe in spite of their situation. 

Thanks & God Bless. 

-MemoirsOfJazz 

Stop the Violence.

Our cities have been overtaken with violence, crime, and evil. We have to stand up for our cities. We have to overcome evil with good. Let go of grudges. Grudges lead to hate which is the root of violence. Love cancels out hate. And perfect love which comes from God cancels out fear ( 1 John 4:18 ).

We need to get back to loving and appreciating each other. We need to get back to praying for the protection of our loved ones. Tomorrow is NOT promised. So pray and love today. It’s time to turn [back] to God.  We have gotten so far away from Him and it shows through the violence and crime. 

These are OUR cities. We should not have to live in fear. We have a responsibility to ourselves, our families and our cities. Start praying for your city, family and friends. Look out for your neighbors. If you see it, it’s your responsibility. We can’t keep doing the same things with the same mindsets expecting different results.

These are OUR cities. If not us, then WHO? If not now, then WHEN? The violence and crime directly affects us! What else has to happen to get your attention? How much MORE can you take? If we do nothing, we LET violence, crime,and evil win. If we do nothing, we have NO right to complain. 

Know God, Know Peace. NO God, NO Peace.

.:JRSN:.